Polar Opposites

Dear Wynne,
I have a friend, my current college roommate, who has decided that she needs some extra money and has decided to work for a bar that has (I'm trying to not be blunt) poles for people to dance with. She says that she loves dancing and they'll pay her well, the only problem, she has nothing to show the perverts that go there. As in, there's no rack to look at. Now, I don't agree with what she's doing, but I'm afraid she'll get booed off the stage for not being pretty enough. What do I tell her?

Concerned Friend
Reno, NV

Dear Concerned,
First of all, men that go to those things all have one thing in common, besides the obvious. If it has boobs and legs and can breathe, they're all over it like hot fudge over ice cream. It doesn't matter one iota if your friend's got a decent rack. The good thing is, she's probably pretty safe. Implants will only make her more vulnerable to attacks, so don't suggest those. After a while, maybe she'll hit her head on a pole and get some common sense to go to school and find a real job. It's frickin' Reno, she can't be a cocktail waitress? I've seen ugly ones in Vegas, no reason Reno can't have any.

Wynne