Dear Wynne,
I'm dating this girl who insists that if I want our relationship to progress I must attend church with her. Most people probably don't have any qualms with making this type of sacrifice, but my girlfriend does not belong to a mainstream religion. In fact, I would categorize it more closer to a cult. I did go to one "service" and was practically publicly ousted in front of the entire group for not participating in their rituals. They don't sacrifice animals or anything that heinous, but I'm not comfortable joining-in in something I do not agree with. What should I do? I really like this girl.
Not in a Cult
Rigby, ID
Dear Cult,
A couple things first - you did not say how long you have been seeing this girl and what beliefs, if any, you cherish. So, if it's a new relationship lose the girl. I'm sure you can find someone with whom you are a bit more compatible. If you've been with the girlfriend for a while now, why the hell has this not been an issue before? Something must have snapped. Perhaps you should make your own ultimatum, or maybe even make-up your own religion for her to adhere to. Let's see how well that blows over.
Wynne
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wrong Trousers
Dear Wynne,
My teenage daughter wants to be a bunny rabbit for Halloween. When I returned from the store, my husband informed me that the costume I had purchased her is actually a playboy bunny costume. Should I return it?
Don't Want My Daughter To Look Like a Whore
Fairfield, CT
Dear Don't Want,
First, I'd almost be more concerned as to why your husband is able to so accurately able to identify a playboy bunny outfit. I suggest a strong cleaning under the bed or in his closet while he's at work, just in case. Second, why are you even shopping for your daughter's Halloween costume? When I was in high school, if your mom or dad bought your costume without you there, then you deserved to look ridiculous. If your daughter were 8 or 9 then I'd understand. Really? You went all by yourself and bought your daughter a costume that may get her embarrassed all because she was too lazy to do it herself? You deserve mom of the year for that.
Wynne
My teenage daughter wants to be a bunny rabbit for Halloween. When I returned from the store, my husband informed me that the costume I had purchased her is actually a playboy bunny costume. Should I return it?
Don't Want My Daughter To Look Like a Whore
Fairfield, CT
Dear Don't Want,
First, I'd almost be more concerned as to why your husband is able to so accurately able to identify a playboy bunny outfit. I suggest a strong cleaning under the bed or in his closet while he's at work, just in case. Second, why are you even shopping for your daughter's Halloween costume? When I was in high school, if your mom or dad bought your costume without you there, then you deserved to look ridiculous. If your daughter were 8 or 9 then I'd understand. Really? You went all by yourself and bought your daughter a costume that may get her embarrassed all because she was too lazy to do it herself? You deserve mom of the year for that.
Wynne
Friday, October 23, 2009
Figaro
Dear Wynne,
My wife wants me to take her to an opera this Sunday and I really don't want to go. How do I get out of it?
Bored to Tears
Pueblo, CO
Dear Bored,
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....Oh, yeah, what? Opera? Doesn't she realize that it's football and world series season? Does she not understand that the basketball preseason has begun? No? Does your cell have internet? Most guys would probably be checking updates for the latest scores and probably texting their friends. If not, bring your Mp3 player and listen to some 311 or All-American Rejects. Even 80s music may be preferred to you. Or, you could try to be sensitive and pay attention to the opera. That's probably what a man would've done in the 17th century. Too old school for you?
Wynne
My wife wants me to take her to an opera this Sunday and I really don't want to go. How do I get out of it?
Bored to Tears
Pueblo, CO
Dear Bored,
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....Oh, yeah, what? Opera? Doesn't she realize that it's football and world series season? Does she not understand that the basketball preseason has begun? No? Does your cell have internet? Most guys would probably be checking updates for the latest scores and probably texting their friends. If not, bring your Mp3 player and listen to some 311 or All-American Rejects. Even 80s music may be preferred to you. Or, you could try to be sensitive and pay attention to the opera. That's probably what a man would've done in the 17th century. Too old school for you?
Wynne
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Welcome to the Birdcage
Dear Wynne,
Yesterday I forgot to grab my lunch on my way to the office. I don't work far from home, so on my first available break I drove home to get it. When I got home I was shocked to hear music playing loudly and made out the sound of my husband's off-key voice. My first thought was "Why the hell is my husband home when he too should be at work?" I turned into the living room and saw my husband in full drag, dancing and singing to a Beyonce music video. By full drag I mean, thong, mini-skirt, mid-drift, push-up bra, fish net stockings, high heels, and of course...a blond wig. I was so flabbergasted I stumbled over my words, and ran back out to my car (leaving my lunch still on the kitchen counter). What do I do now? I am beyond shocked at my husband' behavior/fetish and, honestly am very disgusted. What should I do???
Married to a Mystery
Sioux Falls, SD
Dear Married,
I'd say embrace the new found side of your husband. Not only do you have a man you love living with you, but you have also just acquired a new gal pal. Time to plan a spa day and some shopping!
Wynne
Yesterday I forgot to grab my lunch on my way to the office. I don't work far from home, so on my first available break I drove home to get it. When I got home I was shocked to hear music playing loudly and made out the sound of my husband's off-key voice. My first thought was "Why the hell is my husband home when he too should be at work?" I turned into the living room and saw my husband in full drag, dancing and singing to a Beyonce music video. By full drag I mean, thong, mini-skirt, mid-drift, push-up bra, fish net stockings, high heels, and of course...a blond wig. I was so flabbergasted I stumbled over my words, and ran back out to my car (leaving my lunch still on the kitchen counter). What do I do now? I am beyond shocked at my husband' behavior/fetish and, honestly am very disgusted. What should I do???
Married to a Mystery
Sioux Falls, SD
Dear Married,
I'd say embrace the new found side of your husband. Not only do you have a man you love living with you, but you have also just acquired a new gal pal. Time to plan a spa day and some shopping!
Wynne
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Pens Gone MIA
Dear Wynne,
It really bothers me at work when people steal my pens. They're not fancy, just your average Bic. But they write very nicely. I do not steal other people's pens, and generally bring one around with me should I think writing will be essential. How do you suggest I keep my pens safe and sound in my office and not wondering around on the desks of my fellow colleagues?
That's My Pen
Juneau, AK
Dear Pen,
May I suggest a pocket protector in which you may collect all your favorite pens right on the front of your shirt? Or perhaps you should invest in those pens on chains, like they have at the bank. But that may impede your ability to travel with your favorite Bic. However, in reality perhaps you should just get over it! These pens cost a dime a dozen and I doubt you actually pay for them out of your own pocket. You could always get even and steal the fancier pens off the CEO's desk...I'm sure he wouldn't even notice they were gone. And if he did, I highly doubt he would whine to me about it.
Wynne
It really bothers me at work when people steal my pens. They're not fancy, just your average Bic. But they write very nicely. I do not steal other people's pens, and generally bring one around with me should I think writing will be essential. How do you suggest I keep my pens safe and sound in my office and not wondering around on the desks of my fellow colleagues?
That's My Pen
Juneau, AK
Dear Pen,
May I suggest a pocket protector in which you may collect all your favorite pens right on the front of your shirt? Or perhaps you should invest in those pens on chains, like they have at the bank. But that may impede your ability to travel with your favorite Bic. However, in reality perhaps you should just get over it! These pens cost a dime a dozen and I doubt you actually pay for them out of your own pocket. You could always get even and steal the fancier pens off the CEO's desk...I'm sure he wouldn't even notice they were gone. And if he did, I highly doubt he would whine to me about it.
Wynne
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Who Are You?
Dear Wynne,
Dude, I'm totally confused by who you are. I am trying to figure it out. Sometimes, I think you're a guy. Other times, you're a chick. Who are you?
One Confused Boy
St Louis, MO
Dear Confused,
Why? Do you want to go out with me if I'm a girl? Do you want to go out with me if I'm a guy? Either way, don't matter, I'm taken.
Wynne
Dude, I'm totally confused by who you are. I am trying to figure it out. Sometimes, I think you're a guy. Other times, you're a chick. Who are you?
One Confused Boy
St Louis, MO
Dear Confused,
Why? Do you want to go out with me if I'm a girl? Do you want to go out with me if I'm a guy? Either way, don't matter, I'm taken.
Wynne
Monday, October 19, 2009
Trees
Dear Wynne,
My friend wants me to join her on this "I Love Nature" expedition, or whatever the thing is called. It sounds like a bunch of tree hugger stuff that really bugs me. I'm not anti-environment, but I don't see a reason to go out of my way to save the environment. I'm not a believer in global warming. I don't understand the whole 'going green' thing. But I really like this girl and want to impress her. But going on this expedition sounds like the Green Party's way of 'spreading the green word' to more environmental enthusiasts. Should I even bother?
Not Willing to Hug a Tree
Alameda, CA
Dear Not Willing,
I think you've answered this question yourself. Sounds like you need to just say, "Hey, I really like you, but I don't intend to be a tree hugger, ever. And you're never going to convert me to it either." If she leaves you, good riddance. Bleh!
Wynne
My friend wants me to join her on this "I Love Nature" expedition, or whatever the thing is called. It sounds like a bunch of tree hugger stuff that really bugs me. I'm not anti-environment, but I don't see a reason to go out of my way to save the environment. I'm not a believer in global warming. I don't understand the whole 'going green' thing. But I really like this girl and want to impress her. But going on this expedition sounds like the Green Party's way of 'spreading the green word' to more environmental enthusiasts. Should I even bother?
Not Willing to Hug a Tree
Alameda, CA
Dear Not Willing,
I think you've answered this question yourself. Sounds like you need to just say, "Hey, I really like you, but I don't intend to be a tree hugger, ever. And you're never going to convert me to it either." If she leaves you, good riddance. Bleh!
Wynne
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)